February 98 Winning Contest Lyrics and Review

Here are this months winning lyrics along with its review.
 Select:  
These winning lyrics were written by: Ted Peck
 Untitled 

(to "What Kind of Fool am I") 

What kind of fools are we who end up in O.B.? 
Instead of being wise and doctoring eyes or in allergy? 
We get in such a mess, blood on our knees, 
and dried blood sure is no fun in our BVD's. 

What kind of hands are these that in an hour's time, 
can go from saving lives to touching wives where sun won't shine? 
How many men you know are reading Midol ads 
and are well versed in tampons and in maxipads? 

What kind of ears are these , that hear of secret lives, 
of pain and tearful tales of shattered homes and of battered wives? 
But there are better days; we share their joy 
when we get handed a cigar with "It's a boy". 

What kind of doctors these, that worry through the night 
to guarantee a mother's plea that things will turn out alright? 
If you could read our minds when we get that cigar, 
then maybe you will know what kind of fools we are. 
 

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This review written by LyricsReview.com judge:  Figaro
Score:

   Composition 

           Flow 

   Emotion 

            Hooks 

    Music Ability 



    13           Total Score
Lyrics:  Untitled
Author: Ted Peck
 

Judges Comments:

These lyrics demonstrate a well developed use of rhythm and structure. The use of mid line rhymes is especially effective. This writer compliments great technique with equally good writing. The thoughts are poignant and build to complete a compelling story/feeling. Ted borrowed the melody, but has made the song his own. This is great writing. I think the music should be light and happy. With probably some horns and brushed drums in the background. 

Great work Ted Peck, please treat us with some more. 
 
 
 
 

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These winning lyrics were written by: William Pen
Dr. Death: 

it can strike at any time, and many find 
it's like Gotham criminals and tapes you can't rewind 
designed for destruction, Florida should be a test zone 
living under threat of assault, is not the best home 
best known for calamity, Nagasaki-like tsunamis 
lookin over my shoulder for Mother Nature Khaddaffi 
bomb in the elevator, tornado air raid or 
40 day floods that spill into the moon craters 
yo, where's my ark, lightning pierces the dark 
left arm shakin, damn, I fear its my heart 
but the hospital's leveled, storm beat me to it 
nearly got hit by an ambulance, tornadoes blew it 
screw it, like Phillips heads I'm closin down the hatches 
survival rations, in like 100 different batches 
patches on my clothes, hurricane foe blows 
killin by the millions your average John Doe and Joe Blow 
run like Flo-Jo, but it's more than 100 yards 
getting hit with the elements, I see 100 stars 
like the Hollywood sidewalk, mortal shrines chaulked 
to powder by the power of the voice of God when he talks 
I use water for sud-baths 
now the same creates a bloodbath 
I use fans to cool off 
but tornadoes stole my house and flew off 
I got remote controls for everything you can imagine 
power without substance, no button for thunder clappin 
balsa wood technology, victim of ecology 
40K vehicles cremated with no apology 
we can put a man on the moon, create atomic fumes 
nature puts a man in a tomb, 3D cartoons 
yo, I'm thru, I'm goin inside, you'll find me in the basement 
rippin up pavement to escape the devil's wavelength... 
 

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This review written by LyricsReview.com judge:  Tem Po
Score:

   Composition 

    Flow 

            Emotion 

            Hooks 

    Music Ability 



    13           Total Score
Lyrics:  Dr. Death
Author: William Pen
 

Judges Comments:
 
I enjoy these lyrics completely. Intelligent writing in a rap format is awesome. The words draw you into the story while the rhyming and the rhythm almost create the music themselves, damn. I hear this! I think it would be a lot of fun to put music to this one. 

Yo, William Pen, keep up the flow and send us more, please. 
 
 
 
 

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These winning lyrics were written by: Dave Gaylor
 Newark, Newark 

There's never good news....folks leave everyday 
Don't want no blessed part of it...Newark, Newark 
Can't shake these darn blues, as long as I stay 
My car was hijacked downtown last night...Newark, Newark 

Why do I wake up... in a city...that's half dead 
Sure don't want to get mugged, so I'll just stay in bed 

The bolts on my door, keep most burglars outside 
I should have moved six years ago - to Buffalo 
'fore I go nuts...I swear, I'm getting...out of here 
So long to you - Newark, Newark 
 

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This review written by LyricsReview.com judge:  Al Legro
Score:

            Composition 

    Flow 

            Emotion 

            Hooks 

    Music Ability 



    12           Total Score
Lyrics:  Newark, Newark
Author: Dave Gaylor
 

Judges Comments:
 
Some people think it easy to write the lyrics when you have the melody. For some it may be too defined or ridged. That doesn't seem to be the case here. These lyrics seem easy and natural. I just wish there was more of them. God knows that there is no end to ways to express this theme. Nice choice and treatment. 

Good work Dave Gaylor, we would like to see (a lot) more. 
 
 
 
 

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